“It keeps me out of trouble.” That’s my standard response whenever someone brings up this blog or my creative side projects more generally.
It’s largely taken as a noncommittal shrug off, a way to accept the interest without having to justify what I make any further. After all, what trouble could I, a blue tick verified square, get into? A big night for me is a glass of wine and taking myself out to the movies.
But there is some truth in the idea that making keeps me out of trouble because making keeps me sitting with my own thoughts too long. If you’re busy you’ve got something other than you (in my case many) worries.
My break from (read reduction in) my creative work over January started to get me thinking about who I would be without the making. What would I do with my time if I just worked 9-5? What other interests would I have? What else would I prioritise? How would I define myself?
The desire to make things is a deep-seated part of my character. As a child, I would set myself holiday craft projects – lego and papermaché spinning music box anyone? I got more fun out of whatever repurposing packaging a gift came in than I did playing with the toy itself.
It’s a character trait that I amplify. It’s one I’m proud of because I’ve worked at it. It’s also that’s sort of come to eclipse the others because I’ve spent so much time on it.
That’s not a bad thing. But who wants to just be one thing? I’m not sure I do. I’m not sure I’m confident enough in that one thing to hang my hat on it either if I’m completely honest with you.
So who would I be without my making?
Well, first off, I guess, I would be defined by my day job. I’m a user researcher.
But that’s just more doing, just in a more corporate, codified, conspicuously accepted form.
So who would I really be without the making?
I’m not sure.
I’m sorry if that’s an anticlimax. But did you really think I was going to be able to define the essence of my character in just one little blog post? Psssh.
That said, I’m not going to leave you with a big ol’ question mark. Here are a few of the questions I’m currently trying to work my way through in the hopes that I’ll come to some sort of an answer of who I am, or at least who I think I’d like to be.
- What are the qualities that keep you making? Are you ambitious or spontaneous or methodical or hardworking? Are you highly visual or tactile?
- What are your best qualities? Are you bold? Are you kind? Are you stubborn?
- What are your worst? Are you timid? Lazy? Is stubbornness your weakness rather than your strength? Why are those your worst traits, could they be your assets too?
- What are the qualities your friends think are key to your character? Would they say you’re generous? Tough? Empathetic? Funny?
- What do you value? Are you all about honesty or openness? Do you value things or experiences or relationships?
- If you had to dedicate the rest of your time and leave all of your earthly possessions to a single entity or pursuit what would it be?
I’m sure there’s a lot to us all beyond those qualities too. But they’re a start. They’re a start to reframing yourself as valuable and overflowing with interesting qualities without having to make. That way when you do pick up your tools you’re doing it to make all of those quirks into something new, rather than making to stay out of trouble, out of your own mind.
