Here’s an uncomfortable confession – I am not an ideas person.
There’s this pervading narrative that great thinkers, great artists, great people have this extraordinary vision of the world. They see things that no one else can. They have bright vivid imaginations of what could be. They’re ideas people.
I have no divine, or otherwise, inspiration. I see. I process. I translate. But I’m rarely struck by a brilliant idea.
I have an incredibly vivid inner life. There’s a whole world inside of me that imagines stories and images but those are made and collaged from my experiences.
Throughout my academic and professional life I’ve been questioned on why I don’t, won’t, put forward a more assertive personal take on things. Why don’t I have a perspective on the quality of a text? Why don’t I put forward a perspective on a design? Why am I good at physics but won’t share a perspective on what’s funny in class?
I ask myself those questions all of the time.
I’m sure part of it comes down to comfort and confidence. But often the answer is because I don’t have a perspective. I don’t have an idea, a joke, or a solution to share and I don’t feel comfortable bumbling through one.
I am so aware that I don’t think I have ever had an original thought. Even the strange ditties I sing to amuse myself have probably come from somewhere. I would not have thought of the car to replace the horse. I would not have dreamed of space flight. I would not have been that wild and wonderful first person who thought to make bread.
I have this sneaking suspicion that no one is, that yes there is a spectrum of originality of ideas but that everything is inspired by something else but that it’s not cool to talk about it.
I don’t want to knock brilliant scientific and artistic breakthroughs. But it’s like the really fun reference image debate that seems to come around on social media every few months or so. Should a real artist be able to draw without references? Is using something as a guide cheating?
Resoundingly the answer is no. Of course use a reference image. Even if you’re not using a reference image you’re drawing from your own internal references. Supplementing what you can imagine with physical images that help is a great idea. Use what you can see and what you can gather and turn it into something new.
Why have we created a world where that would be questioned? Why have we created one where being transparent about the references for your opinions and ideas isn’t normal? Why have we created a world where it’s odd to say I don’t have anything new to add here?
When I have source material I am confident. I will gladly share the information I have, in fact I’ll actively do my best to package it up in a way you’ll get something out of it.
That’s why I love research. I’m free to say “I have no idea about that, tell me what you know, what you think” and my role is not to give my personal opinion but to bring to light the best course of action based on what I’ve heard from others.
What I think I’m trying to get at is that not being someone who’s the first to offer an idea in a brainstorm is okay, that not having a dream that bestows a symphony upon you is probably normal, and being open that your opinions are formed and shaped of what you experience is true for everyone. I would love to live in a world where we’re open about that, and we’re open about not knowing enough to have an idea yet.
My brain works a little slowly and very quietly when I’m turning references into something new. My art teacher used to comment that I was kind of mechanical when it came to producing work and while that could feed into my fears about being perceived as having a lack of personality, for me it speaks to the fact that I have to do my thinking before I start but when I’ve done it I’m ready.
You can take your time forming your opinion, forming your ideas. You can credit your sources. You can draw from a wide range of experiences and other people’s ideas to shape your own perspective. You can say, “I don’t know enough right now, I’d like to do some more research”.
I’m not an ideas from thin air person. I’m a synthesis person.
