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A friend asked me if I’d ever written about how I balance having a full time job and doing side projects, and I realised I hadn’t since I was a grad swimming in free time.

Since then, I’ve shifted my priorities. I’ve found work I find fulfilling and I’ve realised I don’t think I will ever want to be a full time illustrator. But I’m still committed to drawing and creating work outside of my ‘day job’. So, I thought it was worth spending a little time writing about it. There are lots of people out there selling side hustles as vehicles to eventually being freelance. That’s not where I’m at. Side hustles are a vehicle for me feeling good in my day to day, to learning more and challenging myself. But they are really the side car.

So, I want to kick this piece off by saying I don’t think there’s such a thing as the perfect balance. There’s no ultimate schedule that will work. It’s personal and constantly changing.The cover image for this piece is quite misleading. There aren’t just two sides and you aren’t always in control. The only way I think balance works as a term for this work is to imagine you’re stood on a balance ball. You’re wobbling all over the place, in every direction. You have to engage your whole body to stay standing. But you can’t do that forever, no matter how strong you are, you have to step off or stumble, then get back up and find a place where you can stand again. Sometimes you have to do that while holding onto other things or people. That’s the kind of ‘balance’ I’m talking about, it’s not a perfect equilibrium.

The other caveat I want to give is that I’m not going to share a set schedule of how I work, which is something I’ve done in the past. I’m personally trying to release by vice-like grip on routines and patterns, so it didn’t feel healthy to set one in internet stone. 

Instead, I wanted to approach talking about working a full-time job while maintaining other pursuits as a bit of an exercise where I talk about the personal value of each element as well as the time it takes. I think this is a really useful way to reflect on how you’re trying to stay on the balance ball of life while staying fulfilled. So, if you take anything away from this post, I think doing a similar activity rather than following my set up is what I’d hope it would be.

So, in no particular order (seriously) these are the things I’m spending my time on these days.

 

Job

What is it?

I’m a user researcher (and sometime service designer) at Engine Transformation.

Why do I do it?

I get to learn about new things every day. A big part of my job is taking questions out into the world and getting messy human answers back that I then have to shape (often visually) into insights that my team can use to develop services. Going home knowing you’ve elevated someone else’s voice, solved a problem or (the big one) designed something that will improve someone’s life/experience a tiny bit is brilliant.

This is also how I pay my rent.

What’s involved?

More than I can fit in this space but it includes: designing research, conducting user research and testing, analysing outputs, co-designing solutions, and presenting work.

How much time do I spend on it?

40 hours a week

 

Illustration commissions

What is it?

Working on illustration projects for clients.

Why do I do it?

I like to draw and work with people to express their ideas visually. Illustrating other people is always a challenge that gives you the chance to learn something new.

This isn’t my main source of income, but taking on commissions allows me to support doing fun things, having the tools to illustrate more and invest in my learning.

What’s involved?

It varies from project to project. But there’s always an initial chunk of work understanding what a client wants and shaping their vision for the project. I usually turn in some drafts then through feedback I refine them. There’s also the, slightly less fun, work of negotiating budgets, drawing up contracts and organising invoices.

I try to save my actual illustrating time for a weekend where I can really have the time to get stuck into a piece.

How much time do I spend on it?

2 hours or so of admin and 6+ hours of drawing a week

 

Blog

What is it?

You’re reading it right now!

Why do I do it?

This is the constant question I’m asking myself. I see this blog as an outlet to improve my writing and illustration skills. It’s a place to organise my thoughts. It’s also a place to display my work, particularly when linked to my social media it’s the reason a lot of people reach out to me for illustration work.

What’s involved?

I used to plan, in a very structured way, 3 month chunks of content. Now I have an ideas list that I add to when inspiration strikes, then I work my way through the list and write the content that feels fitting at the time. That has meant that my content schedule is a little more haphazard, but I’m not an influencer, I’m just a person who likes to write and draw. 

I write one or two posts a week and draw a little something to go with each one. I illustrate more than I write, with the extra drawings making their way onto social media. 

There’s a good chunk of time I end up spending each week on blog admin like scheduling posts and social media posts.

How much time do I spend on it?

4 hours a week

 

Newsletter

What is it?

A weekly(ish) personal newsletter.

Why do I do it?

This is probably my favourite personal creative outlet at the minute. It gives me space to reflect on what I’m learning and share things I’m loving.

What’s involved?

I have a whole post about this one! I gather up articles I love, write a short personal essay, make some animated illustrations and put it all together using mailchimp.

How much time do I spend on it?

2 hours, give or take, a week

 

Learning

What is it?

Time spent broadening my horizons, sharpening my mind, or learning about my crafts.

Why do I do it?

I love learning. Taking time to read about things that are outside my general field of work is how I get a lot of my inspiration, and there’s nothing more exciting than making a cool idea connection.

What’s involved?

I’ve read a lot this year. I also try to attend classes (online and physical) when I can.

How much time do I spend on it?

About 6 hours a week on audio books and 4 hours of reading otherwise. If I’m attending a class this might be more

 

Seeing loved ones

What is it?

Spending time with family, friends and my boyfriend.

Why do I do it?

They’re all good eggs and spending time with them makes me happier and better.

What’s involved?

I try to see people every week, which as a natural hermit takes a little bit of scheduling. I also make time to write to or skype friends who are far away, and I always call my mum.

How much time do I spend on it?

Not as much time as I should! 7 hours + a week

 

Wellbeing

What is it?

This category for me is primarily exercise. But I’m also including the other things I do to look after my mental health.

Why do I do it?

I’m going to write a longer piece on my changing relationship with my body, but in short, you only get one body and it’s important to look after it so that you can experience all of the things you otherwise want to. Recently, I’ve been using exercise to feel more grounded in my body and I’ve been getting stronger and seeing progress. As an anxious bear, having a physical outlet is hugely important.

What’s involved?

Right now, I do about two fitness classes a week and two short runs. On the mental health front, I try to have at least one session a week of something to work through my gremlins.

How much time do I spend on it?

4 to 5 hours a week

 

Household bits and pieces

What is it?

All the things you have to do to look after yourself – cooking, cleaning, staying on top of your post. It felt remiss to leave out the domestic labour you have to do in order to stay afloat. When people say you have as much time in a day as Beyoncé they’re forgetting that Beyoncé has a whole team to look after her and her family, not a luxury many of us can afford.

Why do I do it?

They’re basic functional needs. I probably spend more time on this stuff than I necessarily have to, because I love cooking and because having an organised space makes me feel more in control.

What’s involved?

I won’t break everything down, but I clean and meal prep for the week (lunches and dinners) over the weekend.

How much time do I spend on it?

5 hours or so a week.

 

These timings obviously change depending on what’s going on in the week. The eagle eyed among you will have noticed that I’m probably a few hours short, but there’s also time spent watching TV, daydreaming, walking and scrolling (unfortunately) that I’ve not written about.

 

It’s completely possible to do a job you love and still work on other things. But I think you have to be realistic about the amount of time you have in a day and use the small windows you do have wisely.

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How do you choose what to watch, read, listen to, engage with next? 

 

I’m guessing, for at least one of those, you rely on what’s recommended to you online, whether you do that consciously or unconsciously. Recently, I realised quite how much of the media I engage with is being served up to me by algorithms and group decision making. I am one with my Netflix recommendations. I’m constantly checking in with my Spotify Discover Weekly Playlist. I read what I find shared and then promoted to me on Twitter or what comes through my Pocket recommendations. 

 

The last 6 months for me have been a time for introspection. It feels like I’ve hit a stable place and I’m looking at where I go next. In doing that horizon scanning, I’ve been trying to hone in on my own sense of taste.

 

In order to refine your palate you need to try a huge variety of whatever it is you’re interested in. You have to know what you dislike as much as you need to know what you like. You have to immerse yourself and grow and come out the other end. We do this in the extreme when we’re teenagers, trying on different hats (sometimes literally) and finding out a bit about who we are while we realise we don’t have the bone structure for a beret. But we never stop, or at least we shouldn’t.

 

As much as I feel like I’ve hit a stable plateau in my life, I also feel like the menu my palate has been served in the past year or so has become very safe. I know what I like: I like procedural shows, I like clever dramas where I don’t think anyone’s a good person, I like action movies, I like subtle yet feeling illustrations, I like Maggie Rogers. But I don’t think my taste has been pushed. I’ve not fallen in love with anything new.

 

Perhaps it’s just my sense of taste refining as I get older. Or, perhaps, it’s got something to do with the algorithms I’m relying upon to help me order.

 

Before we start discussing algorithms, I think it’s worth spending a little while getting to grips with what we’re talking about, because it’s a term that’s thrown about a whole lot without much context. Hannah Fry, in her brilliant book Hello World, explains how algorithms are just a series of logical instructions that show step by step how to achieve a specific goal. But when we say algorithm, because of their common usage now, we’re usually talking about the mathematical ones that work in computer code to crunch calculations and follow those instructions to achieve their goals.

 

Fry very breaks down the big groups of algorithm by the kinds of goals they’re given. This has been the easiest way I’ve found of thinking about what’s going on on the other side of the services I use. Fry’s four categories of actions are:

  1. Prioritisation – ranking one thing over an other (you’ll like this one best)
  2. Classification – putting things into categories (you’ll like this because you’re x kind of person)
  3. Association – finding and marking relationships between things (you’ll like this because it’s linked to something else you’ve liked)
  4. Filtering – isolating what’s important (you won’t like these but you will like these, and I’ll only show the ones you like)

 

The algorithms at work in most of the services I mentioned at the start of this post rely on a mixture of all four of these actions with the aim of keeping users engaged with, and so loyal to, their service for as long as possible. Their aim isn’t to expand your taste, it’s to keep you eating. The best way for them to do that is to rely on what you have liked in the past and keep serving you things that you’ll find edible. 

Now that certainly has its pros and its cons. 

 

In the pro column, you’ve got the fact that it saves you, most of the time, from things you’ll just outright hate AKA no horror movies for me. By filtering out what it presumes are the definite nos it saves you precious browsing time as well as nightmares. 

 

In the con column, there are more than a few limitations. These algorithms learn from what we’ve liked in the past and what people similar to us have liked too. But what happens if they’ve got what you like wrong? What if you’ve just gone through a phase of being obsessed with one thing, but now you’re a bit over it? What about those hidden gems that you stumble upon that ‘aren’t your type on paper’? What about those things you’d definitely love but aren’t part of the service’s catalogue? What about if your tastes have evolved? For some reason as a child I hated tea but now I have at least 4 cups a day, if I only trusted algorithms how would I have refound that love? There’s also a question of how do you become an individual in a sea of grouped recommendations? How do you develop your own personal taste? Then there’s a whole bunch of ways those personal tastes may be modified when sharing your opinions for algorithms and people on social networks, but let’s just tackle one thing at once.

 

As ever, I don’t have a definitive conclusion for what we should do next. But the one thing I do know is that if I want to truly develop a sense of my own palate, I need to step away from the algorithms. That means accepting three basic principles:

 

  1. You have to get outside – look for recommendations outside of the web. I’m going to be asking friends about what they’ve enjoying more. I’m also just going to get outside and trust my eyes and my ears.
  2. You have to take risks – there’s going to be stuff you don’t like. Without the “is it edible?” filter there are going to be some sour grapes in the mix, but that’s part of the process. I’m going to have to bite into things that might be awful and see how it goes.
  3. You have to work for it – accept that this way is slower. I’ve gotten used to the ease of trusting recommendations and not having to search them out, but testing your palate takes time and work.

 

There’s nothing wrong with a recommendation to cut down on the hundreds of hours searching for a show, and the more horror trailers I can avoid when I’m browsing late at night the better. But what about the unexpected hidden gems? You have to dig for those not just in the third page of your google search results but out in the real world.

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Last year I read 25 books total. This year I’d read that many by the end of April. I know for a lot of people that’s not a lot, and for others that’s a huge amount, but I think it’s just about the most I can do right now.

 

When I was little I loved to read. I would devour books. I could spend hours and hours reading. There’s a reason I studied English.

 

But ever since I finished my degree I’ve been struggling to really get into reading. I had to read miles of critical texts and source material every week. But I had to scan and skim and read with an essay in mind (not every well I might add). I had to stop devouring and slowly I feel like I forgot how to. I forgot how to enjoy reading.

 

But this year I wanted to make a conscious effort to get back into reading. And I think I’m doing okay so far.

 

So I wanted to share some of the ways I’ve overcome readers block.

Set aside enough time to read in gulps

It’s hard to really get into a book if you’re only able to read a few pages in a go, AKA the only time you have to read is the 2 minutes before you go to sleep and you can barely keep your eyes open. I’ve tried to go to bed a little earlier (although the BBC still thinks I’m an extreme night owl) to give me the time for an extra chapter. I’ve also tried to pick up my books in lunch breaks and tube rides, but more on that further down.

 

Build a varied reading list

One of the most rewarding ways I’ve been working to read more is changing what I’m reading. I’ve read more non-fiction, more biographies, more (non-literature) academic works than I have ever done for fun before. That range has given me so much more to delve into. I’ve had some hits and some misses, but I’ve always had something new to look forward to. I’ve not forced myself to read anything I’ve not fancied at that moment in time. I’ve looked for books I’m genuinely been interested in and then just given them a go.

 

But don’t be afraid to return to what you love

While I’ve added variety to my reading list diet, I’ve still turned to old favourite genres and writers. If I’m ever feeling like I’ve had a patch of books that I’ve not really liked, that haven’t left me wanting to read more, I’ve not been afraid to just read what I know I like. In my case, I love thrillers (I was a murderino before it was cool), I love a good romance, and on occasion I’ll even return to my truest love of all fanfiction.

 

Change up your reading media

I think the biggest change for me has been moving away form just reading paper books. As much as I adore how a ‘real’ book feels in my hands and smells when you thumb through the pages, it’s not always the most practical. I get motion sickness if I read on a train or tube, and my bag is often stuffed full. So I’ve started to download books on to my phone for quick breaks at work and to replace my endless scrolling. I’ve also discovered a new love of audiobooks, which I still class as reading no matter what anyone else says, and they have transformed my commutes.

 

Reading more has given me a power I’d forgotten. Sure it’s nice to say you’ve read however many books, but what’s really exciting is when those books start to join up in your mind. Now I’m reading again, I’m joining up dots and I’m starting to feel inspired to make my own work. When I say that I don’t just mean I want to make (I always want to make) but to push myself to make things that join up those dots and have that giddy feeling of literary power I’ve been feeling recently. I’m not sure I’ll ever live up to it, but it sure can’t hurt to try.

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In a recent post, I wrote about taking mini-adventures on your own. The power of taking yourself on holiday and how to get started if the idea of spending a significant amount of time (in a new place) solo is a little intimidating.

But when I travel alone now, I’m not just focused on learning to be by myself I also try to make my mini-adventures time to reset and rejuvenate my creativity. So, this is just a short optional add-on to those tips to help you turn a solo-adventure for adventures sake into a solo-creative-endeavour.

 

It’s long been argued that venturing somewhere new can help change your perspectives and ignite a creative spark. Travel allows you to draw on new source material new views, new encounters, new tastes and sounds. Travel is also one of the best opportunities to get lost and if we are to believe Keats that’s an essential part of creative thinking. He said a great thinker was someone who had negative capabilities, who was “capable of being in uncertainties, Mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact and reason.” One of the times that plays out, for me at least, is when travelling. You can literally live in a space where you are uncertain full, a place full of mystery.

 

There’s so much literature on the power of travel for inspiring creativity, that I won’t dwell further on it here. Instead, I’ll point you in the direction of a piece illustrator Jean Julien put together for the National Geographic, which I read last year and has still stayed with me – so it must be good. He “set out on a classic American road trip along California’s central coast […and] documented [his] journey by placing paper cut-outs of [himself] on location and shooting vignettes” and he uses those vignettes to explain the lessons the trip taught him.

So, instead of writing ad infinum about the virtues of travel for creativity, I want to share a couple of the ways that I try to embrace the potential travel brings, because sometimes you have to work for it a little bit.

 

Rest & be bored

A lot of the time the reason we’re not feeling creative is because we’re tired and we haven’t given ourselves time to let ideas percolate. Being on holiday is the perfect time to rest up and ruminate. Sleep in. Sit somewhere and just watch the world go by.

Get lost

There are a whole load of cheesy wall stickers that say something like ‘only when we are lost can we find ourselves’. They’re corny and I wouldn’t be caught dead with one, but they probably have some truth. If we turn back to Keats and think about “being in uncertainties, Mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact and reason.” The best way to do that is to get lost, to wander without aim or bearings without reaching for a map for a little while. To see what we find as we walk (or cycle or paddle or whatever) and to see what finds us.

Do something different

Travel’s power to inspire creativity supposedly comes from being in an environment that jolts you out of your day to day. Being somewhere new forces you to see things with new eyes to set out of your habits and make conscious choices all the time because you’re not in the familiar. If you’re not in somewhere that feels completely different, or even if you are, try to do something a little out of the ordinary. You could try a new food or a new activity. You could mix up your ordinary routines. You could just wander and say yes to the first thing that comes along. Just try something new and see if it gives you a fresh perspective.

Make something with your hands

Whenever I go on a solo trip I like to make something. I’ve crafted rings and whittled spoons. I’ve sketched and collaged. Essentially I just like to make something outside of my usual workspace and get my hands dirty. There’s something incredibly liberating about being in a new space, with a new set of tools and just getting to play. You could even take a class. Plus taking home something you’ve made is always a brilliant souvenir.

Document it

In my mini-adventures post I wrote about the importance of documenting trips when you’re on your own because you’re not socialising stories and turning them into memories. That process of capturing what you see, hear and feel is even more important if you’re looking to use a trip as creative fodder. As much as you might set up a trip to be the perfect creative getaway, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to feel creative when you’re there. If you’re anything like me, your desire to make will come and go as will your inspiration. So taking a note of things that catch your eye, ear or heart as you travel means you have those memories and beginnings of ideas ready for later when you’re in a position to use them.

 

So, that’s it. Essentially, go away, embrace the new and try to make something. Of course there are structured creative breaks you can go on, writing and painting retreats. But if you’re just looking to make the most of a trip you already have planned, I think the only real thing you need to do is be conscious of that desire and honour it while you’re away.

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We live in a world in which we’re increasingly looking for control, for certainty.

Before we leave the house we can check the weather, check the tube lines, check shared calendars, check our route, check how tall our favourite celebrity is. When we get in we can check how far we’ve walked, how much we’ve spent to the penny, check how much electricity our homes have used, check if that surprisingly short celebrity has tweeted.

We can use that information to predict and change our behaviour. We’ll carry an umbrella if it’s raining. We’ll change our routes. We’ll text a friend to say we’re running late. Peer at the screen a little closer the next time we’re in the cinema. We’ll schedule in an extra gym session. We’ll save a little harder. We’ll make sure we turn the bathroom light off. We’ll log off Twitter.

All of those actions make complete sense. We’re measuring more and more personally so that we can make what we think are better choices.

But we’re also being measured on a much bigger scale, by other people. Companies are measuring how we behave online and in the ‘real world’. They’re using their measurements to predict those choices the choices we’ll make next and influence them.

This can be with our best interests at heart or be guided by their bottom lines.

Either way, I hope we can all agree that we’re (in the biggest sense) striving for certainty, understandably. As a self-confessed control freak, I, more than most people, get it. I live for routine and having solid ground beneath my feet.

But the more I learn, the more I want to fight for uncertainty in my life where I can, where it makes sense.

All the good stuff in life happens when we’re uncertain. Scientific discoveries come through testing uncertain hypotheses. Friendships and relationships come from taking the leap of faith that we can trust in someone else, even if we’re uncertain that it will become something. Narratives rely on uncertainty in order to drive the action. We find love, adventure, and the stories we tell in uncertainty.

So in this world where we are being encouraged to seek out certainty, and it’s becoming easier to do so, we have to make the active choice to embrace uncertainty and seek it out.

I want to be surprised, to be moved, to be engaged by the world as I move through it. Don’t you?

If you do, here are a few of the small changes I’m trying out as a starting place for bringing more uncertainty into my life. These really are a starting place, I want to start to work on more speculative design to jump without looking more in the future, but I’m a reforming control freak so let’s try baby steps together, alright?

 

Discuss first google later

One small rule I’ve implemented with my boyfriend, and I’m starting to bring into other relationships is not to google something in the middle of a conversation. It’s okay if you don’t have the answer to why baked beans are still called baked beans even if they’re not baked anymore. The discussion that ensues about how we label things, about the changes to food production, about that great beans on toast recipe your friend tried out on the weekend are just as valuable as having the ‘right’ answer. Speculate together and I promise you’ll find connections you didn’t expect and realise as much about each other as beans.

 

Follow the path not citymappered

Walk outside of your regular route and just amble for a bit if you have time. You might find a hidden gem. Sure you could have googled it, but there’s a romance in stumbling over a cute cafe or a pang of pride when you make a find something great on your own.

 

Get sucked by stories in not spoilers

Don’t over think it, over googled it, over watch the trailer for it just give that book/film/series the benefit of the doubt and watch it. Believe in the magic the writers are trying to make and go with it. Suspend your disbelief for just an hour or two. This has the added benefit of not having to spend forever having to try to find something to watch while you eat, not being able to decide and silently eating your now cooling soup.

 

Trust don’t just tweet

I have to admit this is the one I’m worst at, but I want to try to put my trust in (IRL) people a little more and take the baby step of trying to make friends. Who knows if they’ll have any similar interests? Who knows if it will work out? Who knows if they want to deal with my weird self? Who knows if I’ll meet another human being again? Not me, but that’s the point. Also I need to find more hermits so that I can establish my anchorite community. Step one, saying hi to everyone in my anthropology class.

 

Yes and… not just okay

Rather than just accepting things as they are, build on them. I’ve used that old improv classic “yes and..” here but it could easily be “yes because” or “yes but why not?” in this scenario. Put your ideas out there and speculatively make your own future. Embrace what could be.